Chapter 8 - The Alarm
The improvement lasted until dawn.
At 5:12 a.m., the alarm returned.
This time, the nurses moved faster.
Claire woke from the chair instantly.
Ben stood so quickly he knocked over a cup.
Sophie was asleep in Evelyn’s arms.
The little girl stirred.
“What happened?”
“Nothing yet.”
Evelyn hated how automatic the lie had become.
Inside the NICU, Noah’s oxygen level had dropped again.
A doctor arrived.
Then another.
Claire pressed both hands against the glass.
Ben stood behind her.
“Come on, Noah.”
Claire whispered.
“Come on.”
Sophie slid from Evelyn’s lap.
She walked toward the window.
Evelyn stopped her gently.
“Stay here.”
“No.”
“Sophie.”
“I want to see.”
“There are a lot of people around him.”
“I know.”
“It might be scary.”
Sophie looked at her grandmother.
“He’s already scared.”
Evelyn let go.
Sophie walked to Claire.
Ben moved aside.
The three of them stood together.
Noah was nearly hidden behind medical staff.
Claire’s breathing became shallow.
Ben noticed.
“Look at me.”
She shook her head.
“Claire.”
“I can’t.”
“Look at me.”
She turned.
“Breathe.”
“Don’t tell me to breathe.”
“Fair.”
His voice shook.
“Then just yell at me.”
Claire stared at him.
“What?”
“Anything.”
“Tell me I’m an idiot.”
“You are an idiot.”
“Good.”
“You left.”
“I know.”
“You made me think I didn’t matter.”
“I know.”
“I hated you.”
“I know.”
“I still love you.”
Ben stopped.
Claire’s eyes widened.
The words had escaped before she could catch them.
Sophie looked up.
Evelyn looked away.
Ben whispered.
“I still love you too.”
Claire started crying.
“Not now.”
“I know.”
“This is not when we fix us.”
“I know.”
“We might not fix us.”
“I know.”
“Stop saying you know.”
“Okay.”
She almost laughed.
Then the doctor emerged.
Everyone turned.
“He’s responding.”
Claire covered her face.
The doctor continued.
“We’re making some changes to his respiratory support.”
“Is he worse?”
“He needs more help than he did yesterday.”
Claire lowered her hands.
“But the infection?”
“His lab results are improving.”
“So one thing is better and another thing is worse.”
“That can happen.”
Claire hated the answer.
“What does that mean for today?”
“We watch him.”
“Again.”
“Yes.”
Ben asked.
“Can we still touch him?”
“Later.”
“For now, let him rest.”
Sophie spoke.
“Can he hear us?”
The doctor looked at her.
“Probably.”
Sophie nodded.
“Then he’s not resting.”
Everyone looked at her.
“I talk a lot.”
Even the doctor laughed.
The tension broke for one second.
Later that morning, Michael returned with breakfast.
He set pancakes in front of Sophie.
She stared at them.
“I said I wanted pancakes.”
Michael smiled.
“Your dad told me.”
Sophie cut them into tiny pieces.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
She looked toward Noah’s room.
“Do babies eat pancakes?”
“Eventually.”
“When?”
“Not for a while.”
“What does he eat now?”
Michael looked helplessly at Evelyn.
Evelyn answered.
“Milk through a feeding tube.”
Sophie stared at her pancakes.
“Can I give him mine?”
“No.”
“Oh.”
She took another bite.
Claire sat nearby.
She had not slept.
Ben placed a coffee beside her.
“Half-caf.”
She looked at it.
“You remembered.”
“You used to get headaches from regular coffee.”
Claire touched the cup.
“Thank you.”
Ben sat opposite her.
“Claire.”
She looked up.
“I need to tell you something.”
Her expression hardened.
“Good or bad?”
“I don’t know.”
“That usually means bad.”
Ben took a breath.
“Before the accident, I got a job offer.”
Claire stared.
“Where?”
“Denver.”
Her face changed.
“How long have you known?”
“Three weeks.”
“You didn’t tell me.”
“I was going to.”
“When?”
“In the letter.”
Claire laughed bitterly.
“Of course.”
Ben continued.
“I was going to turn it down.”
“Why?”
“Because I realized moving wasn’t going to fix anything.”
Claire looked toward Noah.
“Would it pay more?”
“Yes.”
“A lot more?”
“Yes.”
“Then why turn it down?”
“Because you hated the idea of moving.”
“I hated the idea before this.”
Ben frowned.
Claire looked at him.
“If Noah needs specialists.”
“If our insurance changes.”
“If we’re drowning financially.”
“Maybe we don’t get to choose based on what I liked before.”
Ben stared.
“You’re considering Denver?”
“I’m considering everything.”
Evelyn overheard from across the room.
Her chest tightened.
Denver was a thousand miles away.
Sophie heard too.
“Are we moving?”
Claire immediately regretted the conversation.
“We don’t know.”
“Is Grandma coming?”
Evelyn forced a smile.
“I don’t think Denver requested me.”
Sophie’s eyes filled.
“Then no.”
Claire stood.
“Sophie.”
“No.”
“I’m not moving without Grandma.”
“No one said we are.”
“You said maybe.”
“Sophie.”
The little girl pushed her pancakes away and ran toward the hallway.
Ben stood.
“I’ll get her.”
“No.”
Claire stopped him.
“I will.”
She followed.
Sophie was standing near the NICU window.
Claire approached slowly.
“I’m sorry.”
Sophie stared at Noah.
“You keep changing everything.”
Claire’s heart cracked.
“I know.”
“First Daddy left.”
“Then Noah came early.”
“Then he moved hospitals.”
“Now maybe we move.”
Claire crouched.
“You’re right.”
Sophie looked at her.
“I don’t want everything to change.”
Claire took both her hands.
“Neither do I.”
“Then stop it.”
“I wish I could.”
Sophie’s face crumpled.
Claire pulled her close.
Behind the glass, Noah’s monitor beeped steadily.
Then suddenly, one number began rising.
A nurse looked up.
Claire watched.
The nurse smiled.
She stepped to the window.
“He’s doing better.”
Claire stood.
“How much better?”
“Enough that we can lower one setting.”
Sophie wiped her face.
“Is that good?”
The nurse nodded.
“That’s good.”
Sophie looked at her mother.
“See?”
“What?”
“He doesn’t want to move either.”
May you like
Claire laughed.
For the first time all morning, she believed they might survive the day.
